I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
