How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
