yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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