She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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