So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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