you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
