Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
