If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
