Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
