I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
