Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
