I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize