I got chris browned last night
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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