I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
