haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
