I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
