Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
