if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think i have two assholes
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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