And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
