last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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