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Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
