shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I forget how to act sober
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
