Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
