i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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