Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
