We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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