no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize