Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
as a side note pls kill me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
