you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We talked him into tasing himself.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
