I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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