So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
