dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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