Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
