just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
