Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
