Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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