They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
