Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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