Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
