Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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