I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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