what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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