I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
