The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
