When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
