i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just had sex on a roof
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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