i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
