I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
