I love black thongs
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
