I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
