We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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