All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
