You're so nebulous sometimes
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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