he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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