nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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