I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
