I cannot find my penis.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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