Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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