so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
